IT MATTERS WHOM YOU MARRY [Continued…Part 2 of 3]

IT MATTERS WHOM YOU MARRY

[Continued…Part 2 of 3]

“…… So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters……”

2. IT WILL IMPACT YOU EMOTIONALLY 

Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. IT WILL IMPACT YOU PHYSICALLY

Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection. 

[To be continued……]

© Rebecca VanDoodewaard 

RVD in MARRIAGE,WOMEN

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PENTING DENGAN SIAPA ANDA MENIKAH

[Bagian 2 dari 3]

“….Ditujukan kepada seluruh muda-mudi, khususnya wanita yang belum menikah di luar sana, dengarkanlah ini, bahwa sangat penting dengan siapa Anda menikah…”

2. Pernikahan akan mempengaruhi Anda secara EMOSI.

Apakah pria yang sedang Anda pikirkan akan menyemangati Anda, mencintai Anda, berbuat baik terhadap Anda, dan berusaha untuk mengerti Anda, atau akankah ia pergi dengan teman-temannya ketika Anda sedang mengalami saat-saat sulit? Akankah ia mendengarkan ketika Anda sedang menceritakan sesuatu atau malah bermain dengan video game –nya?

Akankah ia mengejek Anda ketika Anda menangis , atau akankah ia akan memeluk Anda? Akankah ia akan mengerti bahwa Anda mungkin lebih lembut darinya, lebih sensitive terhadap masalah dan perdebatan, atau apakah ia akan bertindak kasar terhadap perasaan Anda?

Seorang wanita akan berjuang saat masa-masa pemberian asi untuk bayinya. Meyakini bahwa saat-saat tersebut adalah saat berharga untuknya, namun sangat sulit. Seorang suami hendaknya terus memberikan dukungan kepada istrinya. Pria yang tidak peduli terhadap perasaan Anda dan kepercayaan diri Anda adalah pria yang egois dan harus ditinggalkan.

Berhati-hatilah, seorang suami bisa melumpuhkan atau  membantu perkembangan kesehatan emosional Anda.

3. Pernikahaan akan mempengaruhi Anda secara fisik.

Apakah pria yang bersama Anda saat ini hendak menyiapkan keperluan-keperluan dasar Anda seperti tempat tinggal, pakaian, dan makanan untuk Anda?

“Tetapi jika ada seorang yang tidak memeliharakan sanak saudaranya, apalagi seisi rumahnya, orang itu murtad dan lebih buruk dari orang yang tidak beriman.” -1 Tim 5:8.

Akankah pria yang bersama Anda peduli terhadap tubuh Anda atau menyiksanya? Jika dia memberikan Anda sedikit pukulan, tendangan, atau sejenisnya ketika Anda masih berkencan, Pergilah menjauh darinya. Hal tersebut hampir menjamin bahwa dia akan melakukannya juga setelah Anda menikah bahkan ketika Anda sedang hamil.

Akankah pria yang bersama Anda peduli terhadap sexualitas? Apakah dia akan menghormati sebuah pernikahan ketika di tempat tidur secara fisik dan mental setia kepada Anda atau akankah dia merayu dan memuaskan nafsu birahinya saja atau bahkan meninggalkan Anda untuk wanita lain? Anda tidak bisa selalu memprediksi hal ini, tapi ketika tanda-tandanya sudah mulai terlihat, berhati-hatilah.

Apakah dia akan berprilaku lembut kepada Anda di tempat tidur? Seorang wanita secara tidak dipercayai menceritakan bahwa setelah melakukan hubungan, dia menjadi susah berjalan karena pasangannya sangat kasar. Dengan kati lain, sang pria begitu egoisnya sehingga dia tidak mempedulikan tubuh dari wanita yang dicintainya.

Ingat, Tubuh Anda membutuhkan perhatian dan perlindungan!

[Bersambung...]

Translator: MerryREMA

Author: © Rebecca VanDoodewaard

RVD in MARRIAGE,WOMEN