If God loves me why am I not married?

Author: Darla Wilkinson

Source: http://www.truewoman.com/?id=2651

I married just before turning thirty-three. That's an eternity to some; a drop in the bucket to others. But it was longer than I expected to be on my own. And for large portions of those years angst, sadness, and distrust plagued me.

Sure, on the outside I looked good. I faithfully served my church, even moving 3,500 miles away for vocational ministry. But inside, I wanted more. I wanted someone to cherish me above anyone else. Many nights I cried myself to sleep instead of treasuring my Father's presence.

A big reason I missed out on God's peace and joy during my singleness was because I believed a lie. At the time I couldn't describe it. But deep down I felt since God wasn't giving me my greatest desire He didn't notice me, He didn't hear me, He didn't love me. It was a message straight from the father of lies, and I swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.

"I felt since God wasn't giving me my greatest desire He didn't notice me, He didn't hear me, He didn't love me. It was a message straight from the father of lies, and I swallowed it hook, line, and sinker."

The Truth

The beautiful truth was that the waiting had everything to do with my heavenly Father's love for me. The apostle Paul in Romans 11:33 says the wisdom, knowledge, and ways of God are unsearchable and inscrutable. In other words, He is so great, and we are so small, we can't fully understand all He is doing.

Yet despite the mystery of God's plans for me, one thing was always certain,

"As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him" (Ps. 103:11).

The eyes of my heart couldn't see that nothing came my way (or didn’t come my way!) without passing through the filter of my Father's love. My desire for intimacy, connection, and security trumped my faith in God's love. But, in reality He did hear my cries, and He was for me! (Ps. 56:8–9)

God Never Gives Up

Thankfully, the Lord never stopped pursuing me with this truth. I'd love to say I figured it all out before marriage. Sure, my confidence in God's love grew when He answered my prayer for a husband. But much of this faith developed during trials in marriage. Chronic illness and interrupted plans for children were gifts from the Lord to continue pressing the truth of His grace and love into my heart. Could I believe His Word even when life felt wrong? On my own I couldn't, but over time His gentle, persistent power changed my heart.

If you are God’s child then this grace is for you, too. You may never know why He is delaying marriage. But, rest assured—even if you never marry—He is not withholding something that would be best for you! He didn't even spare His own Son to save your soul; and He graciously gives you all things that you need in Jesus (Rom. 8:32).

"God graciously gives you all things that you need in Jesus."

Are you wrestling to believe God's love for you in your singleness?

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2nd Article

Author: Shayla Ortiz

Source: http://spirituallysingle1.blogspot.com/2014/03/if-god-loves-me-why-am-i-not-married.html

In my culture it's shameful to be single at my age:

There are many cultures in which a twenty-five year old single woman is alarming because it's believed her childbearing years are fleeting away and somehow the older she becomes the less desirable, which makes waiting on the Lord much more difficult. Unfortunately in this world as women age, being single becomes less of a status and more of a stigma, giving way to names like "old maid" or "spinster"; however, God's perspective is much different. In 1 Cor. 7:8 Paul says, "So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am". Why? Because, "a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband". (1 Cor. 7:35 NLT) 

God views this time in your life as a good thing, as a time to devote yourself to Him. He wants you to enjoy his presence and everything he has to offer. Stop focusing on your age and your singleness and begin relishing your free time with the Lord. Start focusing on things you can do! Take a bible class and get to know your maker at a more intimate level. Go on a missions trip and mentor single women in other countries. There are so many things you can be doing, things married women can only dream of but don't have the time. 

I don't want be to be alone forever, the thought scares me.

God knew that as humans we needed companionship, hence Adam and Eve. He knew you'd need love and the physical touch of another,so it's justifiable to be frightened at the thought of being single forever; however, God says, "don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand". (Isa. 41:10 NLT)

Pray and claim that strength, ask Him to help you face life with boldness and to help you rely on him for all your needs. Why? Because God says, "your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name". 

That promise encompasses all your needs physical, mental and spiritual. He will be your provider, protector, guide, spiritual leader, comfort and so much more, more than a human can ever be. 

I need physical touch, what do I do with these desires?

What you are feeling is completely normal and God understands those needs. He created you with those needs wired deep inside you. He knows the emotions swirling inside you and knows the deep desires within your heart; therefore, as your Creator he can fulfill those desires. Pray and be honest with the Lord and say, "Lord my desires overwhelm and frustrate me. Please satisfy these needs and ease this urgency so I can honor you with my life. Help me understand your ways so I can glorify you and be content. Help me percieve your presence when I'm alone and your gentle hand when in need of human touch". Nothing is impossible for the Lord what makes you think he can't fulfill your need? Trust in Him. 

When do I stop hoping for marriage? How do I know if I'm meant to stay single? 

I don't think you should ever stop hoping because there is always hope in the Lord, he is the God of hope. (Romans 15:13) God's timing is completely different than ours, just when you think it's too late he might surprise you with a godly man. His plans baffle human comprehension and we can't attempt to understand what only he knows. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11) It's never too late for the Lord. Nothing is impossible for him. There is nothing in your life he cannot do. Seek the Lord above all else and live righteously, and he will give you "everything you need". (Matt. 6:33) So concentrate on the Lord not your status. Live for the Lord and forget the rest, he will take care of you.